27 Oct 2005 10:08 am
scenes from a marriage:
(interior, kitchen)
i come moping in after just trying on my wedding gown.
me: it doesn’t fit anymore.
kev: it’s okay.
me: NO IT’S NOT! THIS IS DEPRESSING! i can’t believe that i’ve outgrown my wedding gown. when i wore it on our wedding day it was actually a little loose and now, it takes an act of god to get the damn zipper up.
kev: well, we can start working out again.
me: yeah, i guess. in the meantime i’m gonna eat a whole bowl of shells & cheese and drink a rootbeer.
October 27th, 2005 at 10:46 am
I had the same problem last night with my dress
October 27th, 2005 at 10:56 am
Just do what my wife did… Get it put in one of those air-tight boxes to preserve it…
That way you can’t try it on and get depressed!
October 27th, 2005 at 11:35 am
Or do what I did — get divorced twice, so that the sight of your wedding day wears depresses you so much that you won’t even need to try anything on…
Drugs are bad, mkay?
October 27th, 2005 at 11:57 am
You look like a summer sausage wrapped in a party napkin.
October 27th, 2005 at 11:57 am
in a good way
October 27th, 2005 at 12:12 pm
Were you wearing the special underwear? The special underwear helps a lot. Try again with that. And if that doesn’t work, do what echoBoomer says. I find that with my dress in an airtight box 300 miles away, I never have the urge to try it on and go “kafucka! how much bigger can one ass get?!”
October 27th, 2005 at 1:22 pm
dude, i had on the special underwear. you know, the corset type thing that holds in your tummy and boosts your boobs…yeah, had it on. the damn thing just didn’t want to zip.
i’ll just have to take everyones advice and put the damn thing away. sigh.
October 27th, 2005 at 2:26 pm
I know the corset type thing– I know it well. And I’m convinced it’s only good for your wedding day, having tried to repurpose it a couple times. Unless you’re actually getting married, there’s just not enough adrenaline in your system to keep it from the most tortuous piece of rigging ever.
Have you considered wearing your veil around some, to induce feelings of bridalness and fanciness?
October 27th, 2005 at 4:36 pm
Didn’t you know that dresses/clothes shrink if you don’t wear them every day. Its not you….its the dress. heehee.
BEER is good!!
October 27th, 2005 at 8:55 pm
I have to back Jen up on this one. Clothes absolutely do shrink if you don’t wear them often enough. I have experienced it first hand.