busy weekend ahead and unfortunately i’m stuck at work today. atleast i have the highlights of eating lunch with batonga and sarah to look forward to.
monday is the Capital One Bowl with Auburn vs. Wisconsin. yay! kev and i are having any one over who wants to come. kick off is at 12:00 p.m. so i would say come around 11:30 or so. byob but we will have rotel cheese dip and probably do hot dogs or something like that.

see you guys then and WEAGLE WEAGLE!

kev and i had our first argument this morning. atleast i think it was an argument…does wanting to bawl your eyes out because your husband doesn’t find you attractive anymore count as an argument? its not so much that he thinks i am unattractive but the fact that i roped him into a situation where he did not placate me. HOW DARE HE! actually, i am more in the wrong because i took what he said to heart when i shouldn’t have.

in other news, i’m going to have to stop eating cheese. you must be thinking the world is ending…i certainly do. my stomach lately feels like i have a rock sitting in it. and sometimes that rock gets angry and rolls around causing me to double over in pain. the fact that i haven’t had a good poop in a while is not as disconcerting as the pain i have everyday. and to boot, i always feel hungry. what is up with that?

i’m tired of christmas so thank isaac brock it’s over. speaking of isaac brock, kev and i added yet another animal to the zoo over the holidays:

this is brock. he is the cutest thing on four legs. kev and i went to the vet’s office to pick up christmas gifts for the dogs and this little guy was in a crate with a sign advertising that he was up for adoption. after holding him for .02 seconds it was decided that he would be a part of our family. so yeah, we now have two dogs and three cats. good god, we’re turning into that couple.

i did receive some kick as gifts from kev this year:

this is the colorsplash lomo camera. it comes with different colored flash filters so you can “color” your photos. yummy!

this little baby take four pictures at once.
now i will have a camera permenantly attached to my face more than ever!

alright! here are the pics from the Huffman Christmas Party:

me & kev. look rush! i wore my bloggerflickr hoodie!

the girl on the left pointing her filthy finger at me is priscilla. yeah, i know. i could’ve taken her.

me & mrs. hutton. we make a precious couple.

nate and wesley. they make a precious couple.

the guy in the chair was happily snoozing until i was dragged in to take his picture.

solderjunkie there on the left mimeing what he does best.

except for solderjunkie this is part of the original HHS crew. vikings represent!

me & rhonda.

spontaneously planned’s vic sucking it down.

heath asking me if his hair was straight. heath, i don’t think your hair does that.

so i haven’t put up the pictures of the christmas party at the hutton’s. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?!? i will at some point, i promise!, but for now you will have to live with the highlights from that night…well, atleast the ones i can remember. hey, there was a lot of Jager and Smirnoff shots going around.

• tricky - everyone was in the living room gearing up for dirty santa and this girl named priscilla picked up a chanel bag and asked “is this a trick?” and i replied, “yeah, it’s a trick.” in which she so smartly retorted “YOU’RE A TRICK!” holy crap, i’m on a middle school playground. her little comment was so way out of left field all i could do was stand there with my mouth gaping open. my face began to turn red. everyone was staring at she and i, poised for a catfight. i think someone start making jello. and i did something i hardly ever do…i walked away. I KNOW!!! later she tried to apologize but i was having none of that. bitch.
• gus van sant blows - we played dirty santa and kev and i ended up with gus van sant’s documentary based on kurt cobain, Last Days. it was not what i was expecting. not at all. i expected it to be this epic of kurt screaming and being all violent and kicking courtney’s ass, but nooooooo. the whole movie is made up of four shots. FOUR. SHOTS. and within those four shots i counted four flash backs, two flash forwards and i think i saw a flash sideways.
• ex-mas - my ex, wesley, showed up and we actually got along quite well. it was a little weird at first but again, there was a lot of alcohol thus niceties all around. we chatted about his new wife and both of our parents, football, dogs, and heart problems. wesley is a great guy and his wife is a very lucky lady, but seeing him made me appreciate my life just the way it is.

i’m sure there was more to the party, but this is a blog about me and if i’m not a part of the story, why should i tell it?

i think i might have gone back to work too soon. last night i tried to eat a hamburger (plain with just a little ketchup and mustard) and i did fairly well so until…
attack of the poopies!
this morning i was still pooping. i can’t stop. i’m afraid at any moment i will poop my pants. or skirt as the case may be. and it’s not really the fact that i can’t stay out of the bathroom, hell i get a lot of reading done, but i feel so weak afterwards. i’m trying to stay as hydrated as possible with water and gatorade but i still have dry mouth. and the weakness. i just hope this passes before christmas otherwise i’ll be eating toast and chicken noodle soup.

in other news, check out the kickass pajama pants kev gave me as an early christmas/stop hogging the bathroom present:

and yes, i do heart guinness but only in tiny quantities.

i am a little late with the weekend update but for a very good reason. before i tell the story of how i ended up in the emergency room on sunday let me say that the christmas party pictures at the hutton’s will be up tonight after i dump my camera.

anyhoo, sunday morning around 6:30 a.m. i woke up with the most god awful, kick your mother in the mouth cramps. after two scaulding hot baths and four advil the pain was still terrible. i felt like i might pass out from pain at anytime. i tried a heating pad and it did not help either. during all of this i was using the bathroom like i had just eaten indian food and vomiting to boot. somewhere around 11:00 a.m. i told kev to take me to st. vincent’s ER. i was promptly hooked up to an IV and given fluids to hydrate me. i was also given phenergran for nausea and demerol for the cramping.

they have no idea what i had but to say the least it was bad. i still feel very weak and tired. everything i eat makes me nauseous.

what a way to start off the holidays.

kev makes my life a little more bearable. without him i would have offed myself a long time ago. okay, not “offed” but i certainly would not be as happy as i am now. and the guy makes me laugh. hard. here is our conversation while he’s taking a bath this morning:

me: what are you reading?

kev: an article on creationism.

me: is that like “there is no god. everything just kind of came about?”

kev: kind of. this is about how man tamed the dinosaurs and rode them around like big ponies. it seems they’re making a theme park around this idea. kinda like jurassic park, but the dinosaurs are fake.

me: well thats no fun. i would want real dinosaurs.

kev: yeah, until one ate you.

me: not unless they were vegetors.

kev: vegators?!?

me: oh, um, i mean herbivors.

kev: vegator: the new arch-nemesis of He-Man!

i’ve gotten this email of signs when a girl has had too much to drink several times and it never fails to make me laugh uncontrollably. probably because most of them i have done. i have also added a couple from instances where my girl friends do their own attrocities.

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.
2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling “WOO HOO!” is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. We’ve suddenly decided that we want to kick someone’s ass and honestly believe we could. (or do as my case would be).
4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago.
5. We drop our 3:00 a.m. submarine sandwich on the floor (which we’re eating even though we are not hungry in the least), pick it up and carry on eating.
6. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.
7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new songs plays because “OHMYGOD!ILOVETHISSONG!!!!”
8. We’ve found a deeper/spiritual side to the balding barfly sitting next to us.
9. The man we’re flirting with used to be our 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming to us.
11. Our eyes just don’t seem to want to stay open on their own so we keep the half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. We’ve suddenly taken up smoking and have become really good at it.
13. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that’s just because we can no longer taste the gin.
14. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the living room floor.
15. We start every conversation with a booming, “Don’t take this the wrong way but…”
16. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
17. We are tired so we just sit on the floor (wherever we happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
18. We take our shoes off because we believe it’s their fault that we’re having problems walking straight.
19. Public piggy back rides suddenly seem appropriate.
20. Shoving your cell phone down someone’s pants is the funniest thing EVER!

i hate surprises. in fact, i utterly loathe and detest surprises. so, you can imagine how much fun i am around the holidays. woo hoo! kev mentioned earlier in the month that he bought me a surprise christmas gift (as opposed to the christmas gifts that we agree on, i.e. “hey, let’s get a new car for christmas!”) and because i am an ornery little heathen and he will not placate me and tell me what he got we struck a deal that everyday he would give me one hint as to what my gift is. kev is a crafty guy, believe you me. most of his hints have been in the same vague category as “it’s made out of molecules”. here is our conversation this morning:

me: “it’s time for my hint.”

kev: “wheel”

me: “thats the hint?!”

kev: giggling devishly, “yep”

me: “you suck at hinting.”

kev: “thats because i don’t want you to know what i got you.”

me: “good job”

kev: smiling devilishly

me: “i’ve got a hint for your christmas gift”

kev: “yeah? what is it?”

me: “two words: divorce papers”