this has been the longest short week in history. on monday i was all “yay! only four work days!” and now it is friday and i’m all “good baby jesus! did i step into a time warp where weekends aren’t invented yet?”. so yeah, long week, work has been crap, and all i want to do is drown myself in loud music and beer. and i want to tell you all about everything that has sucked ass this week, but because i am afraid of losing my job, friends, and possibly my life i will give you the pasterurized, condensed version:

• bomb threats=more work for me:i am frustrated at my job, i am underappreciated, and underpayed. everything i do at my job could be done better. why you ask? its not because i suck at my job but because my boss is a micromanager and nothing i do is good enough. a friend of mine offered to call in a bomb threat but because of the kind of work i do that will just create a ass load of more work for me.
• what was i saying? i am so fucking hungry right now, i forgot:kev and i started a diet this week which has left me hungry and running for the bathroom every thirty minutes. basically the diet has us eating better but requires the maximum eight glasses of water every day. and water is evil! water is tasteless (we cannot count the flavored waters because it contains calories and sugar) and it actually makes me hungrier than i am. oh, hang on, i’ve gotta go pee again.
• a day without a mexican:my laundry pile has grown so much in the past week that i am afraid it might start multiplying and get in cahoots with the dust bunnies under the couch to take over our house. i have been tempted on several occassions to jump into the dirty pile of clothes ‘a la fall leaves. but my luck would be a hardened dog turd at the bottom.

so tonight i will be slumped over the bar at the nick wishing for death or more whiskey.