three of my favorite people on the planet are moments away from birthing tiny humans. tori will be induced tomorrow, mrs. hutton is due october 9th, and penn is due in september. it has crossed my mind on several occassions that this is some dirty plot to make me envious of procreation, but it is not working. do you hear me?! IT IS NOT WORKING! so you three can enjoy your epidurals without me, cause i don’t know nothin’ bout birthin’ no babies! i am content with watching other women do all the work for me on the discovery channel. no pain, no sweating, no crying and most importantly i get to eat an entire bowl of velveeta shells & cheese during the whole ordeal.

saturday we had a celebration for the impending arrival of penn and davis’ baby, sara jade. it was a glorious affair complete with big bellies, weeping and wistful story telling. and that was just the men.

mrs. hutton and penn show off their tummies. minutes after this photo was taken these two consumed an entire cake.

this, my friends, is a diaper cake. not edible but totally functional. the majority of my time at the party was admiring the craftsmanship of this thing. there are people in the world who are paid to think up whimsical ideas such as this. and i am not one of them. i can’t even make a real cake.

please, someone stop me. the adorable factor of this party was through the roof. at one point i had to go outside and shout obscenities just to feel normal.

when a mommy and a daddy love each other a large bird swoops down, paying no mind to child-restraint laws, and delivers an eight pound attention whore.

the statistics of parents forgetting their child’s name is at an all time high. the solution: monogramming!

davis gives us all reason to believe that he will totally screw up this kid’s life. oh, and he’s wearing a baby’s hat.

congratulations to vic and NHP, mr. and mrs. hutton, and penn and davis. i love you all and totally cannot wait to be the kickass aunt!