i am in no way an activist. i lean more on the side of pacifism if anything. there are some causes that get me up in arms but rarely do i do anything about them. and it is not because i don’t want to, but rather i feel there are people out there with stronger voices than myself.

last night kevin and i sat down to watch When The Levees Broke: A Requiem In Four Acts, a documentary on HBO by Spike Lee. i expected much naysaying about the local and federal governments, but what i did not expect was the horror and devastation and truly tragic accounts of those affected by hurricane katrina. i realized what a blind eye i had turned to this event a year ago and felt smaller than i ever have. while people were drowning and losing their homes and loved ones i was becoming agitated that nothing else was on television. i kept thinking to myself “they had warnings. they could have left. it is their fault they didn’t heed the mandatory evacuations”. now, looking back, i realize that only a percentage of new orleans residents had the proper tools to evacuate. new orleans is one of the poorest cities in the nation so it is only understandable that many of the residents lacked the funds and/or transportation to leave. it never occured to me that evacuating your home, if only for a few days, requires a significant amount of money. those who had stayed behind depended on the very government that they elected and pay taxes to to rescue them. regretfully it was two weeks too late. and now it is a blame game. nagin blames blanco, blanco blames brown, brown blames chertikoff, chertikoff blames the president. everyone’s “hands were tied” or were “waiting on reports” while the big easy drifted into the abyss. i know i am telling you things you already know, but please realize that i did not know and did not wantto know. i was too busy being a selfish git.

because i have an overactive imagination my dreams (or nightmares for that fact) were plagued by visions of chaos and acts of god. in one portion of my dream kevin and i were separated and it wasn’t until i called a local hospital to locate him that i found out that he had passed away. i woke up from the dream around 4 a.m. feeling very sad and dreadful. i looked over at my snoring husband and saw that he was very much alive. i kissed him on the forehead and buried myself back under the covers, thankful that it was just a dream. the depressing thing is, is that this is not a dream for hundreds of thousands of new orleans natives. they cannot wake up in their own beds and turn over to see their sleeping loved ones. they are displaced and unwanted by the very city that their generations built to become the most beloved place in America. i cannot fathom being ripped from everything i have known and treated like a leper.

i can handle negative comments on my blog. i don’t like them, but i’m a tough girl and can handle what you say about me. however, what i cannot handle is comments that are a personal attack on my friends. recently a “person”, and i use that term loosely, commented on the attractiveness of my friends. i was appalled at their audacity.

number one: i do not keep the friends i do because of their beauty. that is shallow. every single one of my friends is exceptional and i call them my friends because they love me regardless of the shit i say and do. and i love them regardless of how attractive they are. if you are so concerned with the way my friends look then that is a direct representation of you.

number two: i do not know how many times i have to say this - if you don’t like what is on this website then do not read it. there is no reason to leave nasty comments. it only reflects how black your heart is and how little you have to occupy your time. take up a hobby. i don’t care, just get the fuck off my site. i won’t lose sleep either way.

number three: be careful about what you post on my site. just because it is anonymous to everyone else, it is not to me. i very well might have that one friend who works for the government and can easily find out who you are.

last weekend kev, d-rock and i hopped into “debbie” (my 4Runner for those of you not playing the home edition) and drove two hours north to the small, yet affluent town of killen. we were accompanied by the wonderful hosts of this little excursion, amandapandapants and her talented husband justin, marymary and jeremy, kp and jason, carrot and andy, and ash and paco. when we arrived at the house i was shocked. this house was not your run-of-the-mill lake house. oh no. this was a five star resort complete with a bar in every common room, a billiard table, dart boards, swimming pool, two wave runners, and a house dog named daisy whom i would have easily kidnapped.

looking out from the top balcony onto lake wilson

the next day we all rolled out of bed (couch, air mattress, etc.) and paco made us a scrumptious breakfast. boy, can that kid cook! i believe at one point i asked him to move in with us. ash was having none of that. after eating we all spent the day drinking beer and playing in the sun. i was stung by “something” on my behind and amandapandapants forced me to drink children’s benadryl.

d-rock and his little floatie

more food was consumed as well as beer and cocktails. we played Cranium, sang karaoke, and discussed the finer points of chocolate chip cookies and fanny packs. needless to say much fun was had.

these people are why i am so obnoxiously bitchy

conversation in a wal-mart:

interior - intimates section
me: i’m not sure what size of undies i should get. i’ve gained a little weight.
kev: well, if they don’t fit then bring them back.
me: i’m pretty sure you can’t bring back an open pack of underwear.
kev: why not? they let you bring back everything else.

sometimes i sit down at the computer and have a profound post just for you and then i think to myself, “self, did we already blog about this? i mean seriously, has my short term memory gone the way of the blue footed boobie” and then i think, “heh heh heh, boobies”. totally off track, i know! but please don’t let it sway your opinion of how absolutely retarded i am. because i totally kick ass in retardation.

sunday i made it home from the mountains a little lighter. there is nothing on this planet like immersing yourself in sun, liquor, dorky chick flicks, and fantastic friends. dmoney says we should make this trip a tradition and i second the motion. i also agree on lathering on sunscreen as if i were to burst in to flames if my skin is even touched by one UV ray. it has become quite apparent that my tolerance of the sun is not nearly as great as it was when i was little. i used to be able to slap on some SPF 15 and play in the sun for hours on end. well, NO MORE! now i’ve become this flaky, rashy mess. i can’t stop scratching either, which only exacerbates the itchiness. to an outsider it would look like i have a flesh eating virus, it is that bad. regardless, i will still continue to sit outside and enjoy the impending doom of the sun pushing closer to our little planet. hooray!

this weekend kev and i and 13 of our closest friends will make the two hour trip to Lake Wilson in Florence, Alabama. i am mostly looking forward to chef john’s cooking. i will be eating like the gluttonous pig i am and then lying on the nearest carpet square attempting to belch the new testament. classy.

and that is all that matters. i am in chattanooga right now. technically it is lookout mountain but all the same very beautiful. we (dmoney, ash, kelly, amandapandapants, and z) drove up friday night. the trip up was rather uneventful, just a lot of music on the stereo, singing to said music, me asking “now what rap artist is this?”, and eating at the most redneck wendy’s on the planet. once we arrived in fairyland (yes, that is the name of the township. all the street names reference some sort of fairy tale or character, i.e. cinderella, gnomes, pixies) we got settled and the drinks began flowing.

this morning i woke up and we made a scrumptious breakfast and began drinking again. i decided to break out my camera to document the festivities but quickly realized that i am a retard and left my camera ON thus draining the battery. what is worse is that i left the charger at home. sigh. i’ll just have to rely on dmoney and ash to provide me with the incriminating evidence of the weekend.

i’ll be returning home tomorrow and will post more about the weekend then.

photos from darcia la rosa’s cookout this friday.

a list of things that have made me mad/happy today:

• i am so sleepy i want to curl up in my office chair and take a nice long nap
• it is so cold in my office that i have goose bumps. i think the only thing keeping me awake is the chilly temperature in here.
• dinner at darcia la rosa’s house. yippee!
• the chinese are slaughtering dogs by the thousands. if only cooper and molly cate knew how good they have it.
• i got my hair cut today. not really digging it.
• very envious of a certain blogger’s athletic stamina. i can’t even get off my lazy ass to find the remote control.
• the website that i am designing for a friend’s church is not working correctly. i think i might need to call in the professionals.

so there.

saturday night at bottletree, will sheff from okkervil river will be playing a solo performance. if you haven’t heard okkervil river then check them out.

and if you need me i’ll be over here in the corner eating wet cigarette butts. (thanks zach, for reminding me how awesomely retarded i am)

there are some things that i have learned in the years that i have been blogging. at one time i could count on one hand the people that actually read what i wrote. now that has changed. my site traffic pales in comparison of say echoboomer’s site or sarah’s site but i do have some readers. here is a laundry list of things that have become quite apparent:

• being wrong: in no way should anything i post on here be taken as the gospel truth. i am wrong. a lot. form your own opinions. and if you disagree with what i say then tell me. while i hate to actually be proven wrong i will own up to it.
• yours, anonomously: with that being said, if you do in fact disagree with me and want to tell me how wrong i am then a. don’t post anonomously and b. don’t go around posting your disagreements with me on other people’s websites. your beef is with me, not them. posting anonomously is a chickenshit way of getting your point across. and more than likely i will disregard your opinion as fodder. on the flipside of the coin, if what i say just grates on your nerves then don’t visit this site anymore. trust me, i’m not losing any sleep over it.
• havenesque: unlike many of my blogger counterparts this is a website about me and my life. the content that i post is mostly things that i have experienced or felt. much akin to a journal or diary just because i post it on here does not make it your personal ammunition.

i am truly grateful for every person i have encountered while blogging. i have learned a lot from all of you. most of you have made me a better person and blogger. i will continue to grow and learn and only hope that you all will be around to witness it.

photos from the Birmingham Blogger meeting are up. check them out. if you dare.

i enjoyed meeting all of you. especially dre, skillzy, matt, curtis, and chez who have probably read the inane shit i put on here but have never actually met my stupid ass.