it’s not very often that i get a compliment that makes me rejoice and do back flips. on friday night i have to say that i was rocking my hair do. kevin and i went to speakeasy to meet up with d-money. trey and karen were there (congrats, by the way you guys) and trey commented that i looked liked jenny lewis. if you don’t know who jenny lewis is here is a photo:

mmm, sweet hot.
now granted, my hair is not red, nor as long and curly as jenny’s but i do have the bangs and seductive nerdiness.
that might be an oxymoron.

also on friday night we met up with the huttons and some old friends from high school at club south. nathan peek (of the nathan peek band fame) reprised our old college days by singing karaoke. good times.

i remember my very first cigarette. i can barely remember my first sexual experience, but i can picture exactly what i was wearing, what the weather was like when i took my first puff of nicotine. is that weird? i was 14 and had just started public school after nine sheltered years in the baptist-private school system. i wanted so much to shake off the overzealous religious skin that i had been covered with for so long. i did this by befriending a group of kids known as the “stoners”. they didn’t get stoned as far as i knew, they were more about kicking off and not taking authority too seriously. perfect. my best friend was april and she was as close to awesome as i could get at 14. it was outside Abe’s, our local suds and snacks, that april and jay lit up their cigarettes. april handed me hers and i uncerimoniously took a drag, as if i had been smoking since i was 3. i suddenly felt extremely dizzy and nauseaus and thought, “great, this is it. i’m going to fall down, vomit on myself and then die of embarrasment. i can’t wait for my parents to read that headline in the paper: Teenager Has Moment Of Stupidity, Soils Herself”.

i did not die. nor did i vomit on myself. but i did begin a habit that lasted for almost 15 years. six days ago i began Operation Stop Smoking (i’m laying claim to this little gem of alliteration, thank you very much) by taking a daily dose of Chantix and Blow Pops. with the encouragement of my family and friends i don’t see how i could fail. right? right! three days ago i stopped smoking completely. it has not been a fun three days, i’ll tell you that. the first two nights i have not been able to fall asleep and i toss and turn until finally i just wear myself out. and when i finally get to sleep the Chantix provides me with gorgeous dreams that absolutely freak my shit out when i wake up. i’ve dreamt of everything from full-leg tattoos featuring a 40’s pinup girl, to robin williams and sylar from Heroes inducting me into their cult, visiting jamaica and staying at a 4 star resort complete with an room under water with it’s own baby deer. see? completely bizarre!

i have faith though. i know i can do this. and really, it is not so much about quitting smoking for my health, but more to prove to myself how strong i am. i have been a slave so long to nicotine.

coming up tomorrow: What In The Hell That Smell?! : Renewing Your Five Senses Sans Cigarettes