dear Hanlon,

i am convinced that you will grow up having multiple personalities based on all of the nicknames we have for you. growing up i had one nickname which my parents (your Nana and Grampa) still call me. in fact, they have even addressed mail to me using that nickname. and no, i’m not telling you what it is. at the moment you are currently known as Baby Creature, Hannie Bananie, Squiggles, Squigs, Senorita Fussypants, Chipmunk and T-Rex.

no one tells you how incredibly hard having a newborn is. i think if they did Trojan condoms would be a Fortune 500 company. all the parenting classes in the world do not prepare you for the uncertainty of having a baby. everything with you has been trial and error and i can only thank my lucky stars that you will have no recollection of this time in your life. if you did i imagine that your daddy and i would go the way of Jose and Kitty Menendez. first it was the breastfeeding issues and the fact that my boobs could not keep up with your voracious appetite. then it was your hearing issues which i am convinced that you can hear, you just do not give a shit. and don’t get me started on the gas and fussiness. oh dear god, the endless crying from gas pains. there were nights when i wanted to “go out to get a pack of cigarettes”. there are two things that kept me from driving forks into my eyes and ears: my undying love for you and your father. his consoling and reassurance made it easier to handle what the three of us were going through. you’ll find out later that he is the calm one.

you are nothing like i envisioned. you are more beautiful than the baby i had dreamed of. every day you change just a little. your hands are always searching. i adore when you stare at me with those steel gray eyes. you drink in everything with those eyes. that is when you’re not passed out in your swingy seat. i’m sending a thank you note to the makers of your swing. it has saved us many a night when you were inconsolable and my back ached from walking the floor with you. at one point we moved the swing into the bed with us just so we could get some shut-eye. little battles, little wins.

as uncertain as having a baby can be there is one constant: our love for you. though we are exhausted and sometimes want to pull our hair out you are nothing if not amazing. you are a perfect blend of your father and i (my feet and your father’s everything else). i cannot wait to watch you grow into the adorable little girl i know you will be. adorable and one who knows that talking about poop in public is hilarious.

just a few minutes old and already contemplating world domination.

don’t let the bunny fool you, i am this adorable.

Hanlon does her best “Grampa On St. Patrick’s Day” impression.

you would think that all this kid does is sleep. i assure you, it’s not.

squishy knees! and little hands!

this is why we call her T-Rex.