a list of things that have made me mad/happy today:

• i am so sleepy i want to curl up in my office chair and take a nice long nap
• it is so cold in my office that i have goose bumps. i think the only thing keeping me awake is the chilly temperature in here.
• dinner at darcia la rosa’s house. yippee!
• the chinese are slaughtering dogs by the thousands. if only cooper and molly cate knew how good they have it.
• i got my hair cut today. not really digging it.
• very envious of a certain blogger’s athletic stamina. i can’t even get off my lazy ass to find the remote control.
• the website that i am designing for a friend’s church is not working correctly. i think i might need to call in the professionals.

so there.

saturday night at bottletree, will sheff from okkervil river will be playing a solo performance. if you haven’t heard okkervil river then check them out.

and if you need me i’ll be over here in the corner eating wet cigarette butts. (thanks zach, for reminding me how awesomely retarded i am)

for the past two days i have come to the computer, logged into wordpress, amd have stared blankly at the screen just hoping that something interesting would come to mind to blog about. i am unaffected and uninspired as of late so i will just list random events that have happened recently:

• went to george’s new bar speakeasy friday night. it was absolutely wonderful there and i cannot wait to go back.
• i missed my 10 year high school reunion because i am a lazy sack of crap and fell asleep on my couch.
• made plans with turner to go to nashville this weekend where i will see my punk rock friend toad.
• finished off a bottle of chardonnay with d-rock on sunday. woke up monday wishing i hadn’t.
• missed my mom something fierce.
• cursed my mom for being in ireland and not convincing me to quit my job so that i could go too.
• looked up world of warcraft on wikipedia as a desk reference to sarahetc.’s blog post.
• told turner that there was no way that she had a tumor in her spine because my dogs would have smelled it and licked her face until she was better.
• made fun of my cat, brock, who loves to sleep on my cross-training treadmill which makes him look like the fat bastard just gave up.
• told wes frazer that i had a dream about him. yeah, never tell a guy that because you listen to him ask “what was it about” with some goofy ass grin on his face for five minutes.
• ate at waffle house friday night.
• woke up on saturday morning and wish i hadn’t.
• downloaded a game off the internet called Zoo Vet where you have to treat all sorts of animals.
• thought seriously about giving the flamingo with a bad foot an enema and calling it a day.

this has been the longest short week in history. on monday i was all “yay! only four work days!” and now it is friday and i’m all “good baby jesus! did i step into a time warp where weekends aren’t invented yet?”. so yeah, long week, work has been crap, and all i want to do is drown myself in loud music and beer. and i want to tell you all about everything that has sucked ass this week, but because i am afraid of losing my job, friends, and possibly my life i will give you the pasterurized, condensed version:

• bomb threats=more work for me:i am frustrated at my job, i am underappreciated, and underpayed. everything i do at my job could be done better. why you ask? its not because i suck at my job but because my boss is a micromanager and nothing i do is good enough. a friend of mine offered to call in a bomb threat but because of the kind of work i do that will just create a ass load of more work for me.
• what was i saying? i am so fucking hungry right now, i forgot:kev and i started a diet this week which has left me hungry and running for the bathroom every thirty minutes. basically the diet has us eating better but requires the maximum eight glasses of water every day. and water is evil! water is tasteless (we cannot count the flavored waters because it contains calories and sugar) and it actually makes me hungrier than i am. oh, hang on, i’ve gotta go pee again.
• a day without a mexican:my laundry pile has grown so much in the past week that i am afraid it might start multiplying and get in cahoots with the dust bunnies under the couch to take over our house. i have been tempted on several occassions to jump into the dirty pile of clothes ‘a la fall leaves. but my luck would be a hardened dog turd at the bottom.

so tonight i will be slumped over the bar at the nick wishing for death or more whiskey.

in my large demand yesterday for music i failed to mention a time line. yeah, i needed the music today. actually i needed it four months ago when i threw the original tape away but technically i needed the music today so that i could complete the mix and give it to my friend at lunch. so here is the full set list for streetlight, stratosphere:
jawbreaker - want
pavement - stereo
pavement - a shady lane
cornelius - smoke
pixies - head on
pixies - gouge away
smashing pumpkins - rhinoceros
unwound - unauthorized autobiography
fugazi - full disclosure
guided by voices - watch me jumpstart
starflyer 59 - i drive a lot
starflyer 59 - play the “c” chord
the beatles - something
joe christmas - scrabble girl
my bloody valentine - only shallow
my bloody valentine - when you sleep
the beatles - got to get you into my life
morphine - sharks
morphine - kerouac
jack kerouac, zoot sims and al cohn - the last hotel and some of dharma (could not find to download)
yo la tengo - sugarcube
jawbox - savory
jawbreaker - million (this was deleted due to limited space on the cd)
jets to brazil - sweet avenue (this was deleted due to limited space on the cd)

thanks to all who helped, especially jai who saved me like $4.95 in downloads.

alright guys and gals i am putting you on a mission. because i am a shitty friend and threw away a mixed tape that a very good friend gave to me back when we were younger i am trying to recreate said tape. and, because i am too ashamed to tell said friend of what i did i am reaching out to you wonderful people to bail me out. i need a copy of the following songs sent to me ASAP (listed by title, artist, and album):

1. want - jawbreaker - Unfun
2. the last hotel/some of dharma - jack kerouac, zoot sims and al cohn - The Jack Kerouac Collection
3. full disclosure - fugazi - The Argument
4. scrabble girl - joe christmas - North To The Future
5. something - the beatles
6. got to get you into my life - the beatles

if by the off chance that you guys actually have these tracks i will hug you and pet you and name you “george”.
actually, probably not. i’d rather just buy you a drink.

random:
i was talking with mrs. hutton yesterday (happy birthday!) and we were on the subject of when her brother and i dated. my response was “i wouldn’t so much call that dating as i would call it trying desperately to get arrested”. you see andrew is funny. social terrorist funny. think johnny knoxville but with red hair and a shitty IT job. andrew’s best friend, and most likely the ennis del mar to his jack twist, was (or still is) dave. dave, too, was hilarious. i remember driving home from atlanta with the pair of them and there was a fender bender on the side of the on ramp. dave leaned out the window and inquired “is everyone okay?” when the accident victims responded “yes, thank you” dave yelled back to them “WELL THEN GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD!” and began laughing maniacally as andrew stepped on the gas.

random:
this month is turning out to be incredibly busy. tonight i have a burnlounge meeting, saturday is the schaeffer eye center crawfish boil, next weekend is mother’s day, and the 20th is Do Dah Day where i will be running the greyhound booth again.

sarah went all nutty and tagged me with this meme. damn you! so here it is: six things you didn’t know about me and now really wish you didn’t know:

1. i have an odd obsession with my toes. i don’t like my feet rubbed but i sure do like have my toes picked at
2. i am in counseling because i am a nut. seriously, i’m about as crazy as a rat in a shit house. i’m not as psycho as say kenn, but i have my moments.
3. i am extremely adept at holding grudges.
4. when i was in high school (which i lovingly call “the formative years in which i went through twelve different personalities in a four year time period”) i wanted to be a writer so badly it hurt. i attended four Writing Today conferences at Birmingham Southern and met the likes of Gwendolyn Brooks and Ray Bradbury. i was even the president of my high school’s AP creative writing club. i was to become the next Sylvia Plath minus the sticking your head in the oven bit. sadly, after all of this and attending college to become an english teacher i haven’t touched a pen to paper in a creative way since 2004.
5. i am deathly allergic to wasps, bees, yellow jackets, hornet, etc.
6. sometimes when i am in my car i turn my stereo up really loud and pretend i am in a really cool movie montage

if you want to know more about me you can head on over to The Crazy 88 on the left.

i have been put on a mission by ’splodey. a mission of epic proportions. a mission that will define my musical tastes and who i am and have been since i began to understand the concept of pitch and an effective three chord riff. my mission is this: come up with talent that would fill a 2500 seat side stage ampitheater and that will accept a $10k play fee less production costs.
i know who i would like to see play but that doesn’t mean it would happen. i was running through my mental rolodex of who would fit the criteria, who wouldn’t, who was still playing, who had gone solo, etc. i think i gave ’splodey some good ideas but we will see if they come to fruition.
these are the bands that i am currently listening to and would gladly sell my soul to see (note: some have disbanded):

okay, okay, so the one is a comedian but if you’ve heard the pterodactyl version of Old MacDonald you will know how absolutely hilarious she is.

observations from the past two day:

• holy shit! there is porn on t.v. at 6:30 in the morning! who was the programming genius who put that together, cause i want to give them a big sloppy kiss.
• sims 2 Open For Business is really hard.
• sims 2 is like monopoly after several hours of play: “fuck this game grandma! it’s four in the morning! you win!”
• how to get through an incredibly hard day: michael buble’
• how to get through an even harder day when all seems lost and you want to throw those around you off a building: zach galafianakis
• pimping + charity = pimpity
• have you seen those “The More You Know” p.s.a.’s that the cast from The Office has done? no? here’s a sample: “after the brown bear has finished batting you around and mauling you, contact your local forest ranger”

reasons why i want to fling myself out of my 18th story window:

• i haven’t had a good poop in days. its like my colon has staged a coup and is holding hostage every solid food i eat.
• my boss thinks i’m stupid. it’s probably because my concentration is on when i will poop.
• it is raining outside which means my hair is enormous. i think it might take over a small country soon.
• grace, kev’s cat has to stay overnight at the vet. normally, any excuse to reduce our number of pets is a good one but she is pretty sick with a UTI. a telethon to raise money for the vet bill might not be far behind.
• do you know what mice love? crackers. do you know what mice love more than crackers? pooping all over your crackers. and your oatmeal. and in your cabinets.