three days ago I received a letter in the mail to renew my domain subscription and I stood there just staring at the words “cancel” and “final notice” and “never more” and wondered where I should go from here. a month ago kev and I had a meaningful discussion about the future of Pretty Helmet. what it has accomplished for me as an outlet, my dwindling readership, my lack of motivation to sit and write every day, the highs and lows of having my face and my words out there floating around for people to take to heart or twist into something awful. I sometimes picture myself standing naked on a stage in front of an audience with bags over their faces. they can see me and point out my flaws, but I cannot see them and do the same.

with all these concerns churning in my overactive pregnant brain I made the decision that this has been therapeutic for me. as of today I have been one week and four days off of zoloft. the first time in six years I have not relied on medication to make me feel “normal”. I attribute this change to several factors: my aforementioned pregnancy, my devoted and loving husband, a handful of very patient friends and family, and Pretty Helmet.

there are some big things coming in the very near future, specifically the birth of The Manatee. I want to share this with you if you will let me. and I want you to share with me if you feel it necessary. we’ll be a big groping group of sharing.

then we’ll get liquored up, take advantage of each other and not call in the morning.

have you seen the target commercial with milla jovovich and that blonde designer lady? am i the only one who doesn’t understand how clothes can be “ironic”. are they clothes that you don’t wear or something?

::forehead slap::

first of all, let me state that my new niece’s name is kendall ellison, not kendall emerson. when you have a ton of fluid in your ears and are high on crazy cough syrup you tend to hear things that are not quite so.

i called my brother-in-law today to check in on kelly and kendall and found out that kendall had a bit of trouble last night. she had a pneumothorax which caused one of her lungs to collapse. while this is extremely common in premature babies it is very serious. a needle had to be inserted into her lung to re-inflate her lung and is now on on a breathing tube. on the upside kendall has gained 3 ounces bringing her to a nice 3 pounds. the doctors will keep kendall in the nicu until her original due date which could be another month.

thanks to all who have given your thoughts and love towards kevin’s sister and her family. they are truly exceptional parents and deserve nothing but wonderful things with this little girl.

i’m thinking of renaming this site Pretty Illness, because let’s face it people, i’m sick a lot. and it is not that i want to be, or that i am a hypochondriac, just that i am more susceptible to obtaining every malady within a four mile radius. right now in the “flu season” every single one of my friends and family has been hit hard with something and frankly i thought i had escaped it. see what i get for thinking?!

it all started on sunday with a sore throat. i thought that it was from the smoky atmosphere at speakeasy friday night, but when i woke up on monday morning with chills and phlegmy cough i knew i was in for a bad haul. around lunchtime on monday i was sweating profusely and was overcome with aching muscles. my sweet boss let me go home for the rest of the day to rest up. monday night was much worse. i had fitful sleep, and could not get comfortable no matter what position my body rolled in to. my core body temperature fluctuated between ten hells and two dammits to jesus h. christ please find me more blankets, it is a frozen tundra in here! the base of my neck and shoulders were so tense i felt knots in my skin. somewhere around 3:30 a.m. i managed to get into a hot bath to relieve the pain.

i went to the doc-in-a-box today for the fear that this was the flu. if it was i needed to inform my co-workers to get some preventative care. though the waiting room was packed and the receptionist had the compassion of a gilla monster i was in and out in 2 hours. the doctor and the nurses were especially kind even though they were all very tired. they were running on a skeleton crew as most of their staff were also out sick.

after putting a long stick up my nose and taking blood work the results came back to reveal mycoplasmosis a.k.a. walking pneumonia. i was sent home with antibiotics, some heavy duty cough syrup, and big ole steroid shot in my booty. i’m running on fumes right now, but actually feel a little better (even though the chills have not subsided). kev is taking good care of me and has intrusted my day care to cooper (sans nurse hat).

side note: my sister-in-law, kelly, delivered my new niece kendall ellison on monday via cesarean. i was not able to see either one of them due to my illness but kev told me that though she is 10 weeks early and only 2 pounds 14 ounces she is doing quite well. kelly will be in the hospital for a few more days and kendall will be in for several more weeks. this little girl has been long awaited and is quite a blessing. i can’t wait to see her.

while sitting at a red light, you pull up next to me and your music is so loud it shakes my windows. when i look over to give you a nasty “you’re an asshole” sneer i notice there are two small children in your backseat. it is one thing to listen to that mess of words and bass you call “music” so loud that you go deaf, but it is quite another to subject your own children to it. i would love to hear that conversation at your pediatrician’s office:

doctor: “i’m curious as to why your son has 60% hearing loss in both ears”

parent: “well, it could be that i insist on matching the decibel level in my vehicle to that of an grenade blowing up in your face”

doctor: (looking around the office) “hm, now where did i put that “parent of the year” award?”

no one wants to listen to your shitty music. if i did, i’d download it off of itunes. and kev thinks i am kidding, but the next time someone drives through my neighborhood with their music turned up so loud i can hear it at the back of the house i swear to the baby jesus i will throw a very fat cat at their car. his claws are sharp, man.

i hate rap. it’s just not my thing. however, this video featuring my fantasy boyfriend, zach galifianakis, makes me laugh so hard i pee a little. the song is by kanye west but surprisingly doesn’t mention anything about president bush. i would recommend letting the entire video load before watching it.

i’ll be over here giggling if you need me.

awesome: finding a pair of jeans that both fit me in the waist and are short enough in length that i won’t have to drag four yards of material behind me when i walk.

more awesome: said jeans ringing up to total $3.24. at parisian’s. the store that continuously amazes me by charging $56 for a t-shirt.

with all this blogging i’m doing (read:none at all) i wanted to give a new look and feel for all four of you reading. i added a Currently Reading list on the sidebar and am working on listing my musical tastes. there are not a whole lot of code writers out there for wordpress and frankly it makes me sad. i’m sure sarah could whip up something awesome but i think her version would involve a “Currently Addicted To” and have a bunch of allan rickman/tudyk links.

also, i am looking for a calendar organizer. this position entails tearing off my daily far side calendar on my desk at home. compensation will be in the form of stinky kisses from three dogs and a plethora of shells and cheese.

any takers?

i received this email from someone named victoria asking if she could use a photo on my flickr account for a story she was writing.

Hi pretty helmet,

I’m working on a story for Nowpublic about the Birmingham
St. Patrick’s Day parade. I love your original photos,
and wanted to see if you could share them for my story.

Thanks,

Victoria
NowPublic

after clicking the link she provided me, i see that her news story is some sixth rate hack news site. the story was simply about Birmingham beginning the St. Patrick’s Day parade on Sunday. there was an option to deny use of my photo but you had to sign up to the website to do so. i am very leary of signing up for anything to decline an offer. so i go to my flickr account and politely send her the following:

Please do not use any of my photos. First of all, your story is incorrect. Birmingham did not start it’s St. Patricks’ Day celebrations on Sunday. Second of all, my photos were taken last year and do not represent 2007’s parade activities.
Again, I would appreciate you not using any of my photographs.

Thanks!

i then receive this email from her:

Hi prettyhelmet,

I’m afraid my story is not incorrect …please read th BBC
link below.

“blah blah blah…stoopid link that has nothing to do with Birmingham, Alabama”

I won’t use your photos…you can click the link and check
a box that you decline the request.

Best,

Victoria

holy crap! i’m not sure what keywords she was using but i’m pretty sure they did not include the word “Alabama”. i (again) politely send her another email stating that a. hello, i’m nowhere near england and b. i am so not signing up just to stop you from using MY artwork. i also told her that since she had the audacity to steal from me then she could take the photos off. gah!

doesn’t she know i’m holding out for the national enquirer?!

i’m not one to post about cool happenings in birmingham as i would rather leave that up to my more culturally affluent blog friends, but if you have a soft spot for the kids and 5 bucks to spend please do so at speakeasy:

also, i have a sneaking suspicion that now that george is a birmingham firefighter we just might see him in the 2007 Handsome Heroes calendar.

i’ll be over in the corner drooling into my martini.