i suck, i know! if blogging gave out citations for not blogging i’d be in prison for unpaid fines. but i have a good excuse. you’ll laugh when you hear the story. and then we’ll be best friends again only until i go another month without writing and then you’ll call me drunk and want to break up. (more…)

i asked for it and i got it. while the majority of the comments to this post were positive or neutral a couple of you voiced your opinion on my apparent heathenism. i’ve been thinking for the past couple of weeks how to follow up my post on Christianity and every thing i’ve written turned out to be this long-winded diatribe about growing up under the oppressive thumb of the Baptist private school system, being brainwashed, and wah!, listen to me whine about my blessed childhood. so here it is in a nutshell: i’m not anti-Christianity, i’m not even anti-God, i’m just starting to come out from everything that i’ve been taught as true and beginning to ask real questions. does this make me an atheist? no. does this make me a bad person? certainly not. will some family and friends shun me? probably, but thems the breaks for being of independent mind and free-will. i’ve been a sheep for so long and blindly followed the teachings of the church without stopping to say, hey, something just doesn’t add up here. i would rather be true to myself and my heart than pretend to be something that i might not be.

contrary to belief i am not in a dark place. in fact, at this time i couldn’t be happier. telling someone they are in a “dark place” simply because they don’t necessarily believe what you believe is part of the reason we have people ramming planes into buildings. i love and accept all of you for your beliefs and do not look down upon you, so is it right for you to do the same? i do not remember the Bible teaching “love one another, but only if they believe as you do”. hipocricy is a fickle madame. i don’t begrudge any of you your beliefs and welcome you to “pray for me”, but i ask this, spend your prayers on those who really need it: for abused and molested children. pray for all the innocents that die at the hands of disease, famine, war. pray that man can find peace, whether through religion or science.

the poster on Christianity was not intended to criticize, but to open a dialogue. last year when i went to see my family in albuquerque, a girl who sat next to me on the plane inquired about my religious beliefs. instead of engaging in a civilized conversation about God, Jesus, and all that jazz, she shoved pamphlets in my hands and lectured me on questioning “our Lord and Savior”. what did she accomplish? other than making me want to shove her body in the luggage rack, nothing. this kamikaze style preaching is grotesque and violating.

a friend of mine told me today “The reasons why religion is so powerful are many, but at the root is humanity’s need for its existence to mean more than living and dying. Religion answers that. It answers all of those questions. Those answers are wrong, but religion is easy to accept. It doesn’t require questioning, thought, or even an understanding, just acceptance.” maybe that is all there is to this life: living and dying. ashes to ashes.

i am 30 minutes from a possible meltdown. no hair will be spared. all hairs will be hurt in this production.

oh how i have strayed from the flock. and if i believed in hell i would probably be going there at the end of my long non-believer life just for posting what you see below. i’m sorry, though, truer words were never spoken.

the line to pelt me with Bibles forms to the left.

i know, i know, posting links to other websites is the wuss’ way out of blogging, but this is some choice shit.

plus, i love the song. about as much as i hate andy samberg.

this past weekend kev and i spent three glorious days in lookout mountain, georgia with the double D’s (d-money and d-rock), ash, john, jennybean and flip. we laid by the pool, swam, hiked the lower 40, played mad libs and laughed our asses off. i got a little sun, especially on my right leg. basically i spent a weekend with some of the coolest people on the planet. and no, i’m not going to show you the photos of me in a bikini.

our view from mama chris and david’s house. i wish i had taken pictures of the house because it is just wicked!

late afternoon cumulus clouds

jennybean and flip

sometimes all you need for a great vacation is an ipod and an activity book

dinner by candelight

d-rock stylin’ and profilin’ in granny sunglasses

Wilson takes a ride on his dad. gawd, i love that dog.

the boys: d-rock, flip, john and kev

the gurrls: jennybean, me, d-money and ash. we spent all day in the sun so we all look a little tired

chattanooga kelly and her son jonah joined us for a while. my lord, that kid is adorable.

*the title of this blog is courtesy of one of the mad libs we did. this is one of my new catch phrases. however, not as fun to say as “that’s wet”.

this weekend is already shaping up to be something spectacular. george from speakeasy sent me a message letting me know that joshua english will be at the bar friday night. now if you haven’t heard of josh english then a. you’re stupid and need to throw yourself into oncoming traffic, or b. let me enlighten you. either way you are in for a hit to the heart.

josh english began his modest career with the band six going on seven in boston, mass. the josh english then is not the josh english now. back in 1997 his voice was raw, covered in gravel, and made you want to grab the girl at the end of the bar at take her home if only for a brief one night stand (see Sexy Like The Titanic). the josh english of today is a little more subdued but still as soulful. he’s more rock-a-billy than emo. i’ve had a listen to a few of his songs off his new album “trouble none” and i was blown away. it’s simple and divine. it’ll make you wish you knew all the words to the songs. it’ll make you want to climb in your car and drive and drive and drive.

go take a listen to him at his myspace page: myspace.com/joshuaenglish or better yet, go to speakeasy on friday night and check him out yourself.

you won’t be disappointed. and if you are, then you have no musical taste and i can no longer associate with you.

tuesday was probably the closest i’ve come to actually hurling myself off a building. i was being hounded by some attorney’s office for an invoice i had never received, kev was in a shitty mood and talking to him just made my day worse, and to top it all off i was getting a stress headache. i just wanted to go home and crawl under the covers. when the day ended i got in my car and realized that my ipod was at home, so i put in a cd that kev made me awhile back. i had forgotton half of the songs he burned but one in particular made me feel so much better.

i stayed home today with a massive headache and allergy issues. i know, i know, can’t you whine about something else? well, no! my life is consumed with medication and sneezing and i have nothing else to talk about.

here are some fun things i learned today while being miserable:

• four straight hours of Roseanne. gawd, how i miss that show.
• the neighbors have the lawn professionally cut. for four hours straight. don’t they know i’m in the middle of a Roseanne marathon?!
• cooper’s tolerance of the mailman is at an all time low. initiate bark sequence.
• the car loan people are resolute on calling me five times a day. i’ll pay the damn note when i get off my ass, thank you very much.

okay, that’s all i’ve got. i spent most of the morning sleeping off a benadryl induced coma. sadly i woke up with a headache even worse than the previous one.

this past weekend i discovered the awesomeness that is HD television. if you had asked me what i thought about HD a week ago i probably would have spouted off some nonsense about how the electronics industry is just trying to drain every single penny out of society and why can’t they just be happy that i’ve bought five mystery science theatre 3000 box sets in the last month. if you asked me today what i thought about HD i would probably tell you that you can see the fur on a camel’s mouth sway in the breeze, and you can tell just how much pancake makeup that news anchor is wearing, oh and don’t forget that watching discovery channel’s planet earth makes you want to run out and adopt a flock of penguins. we sat in my aunt and uncle’s living room saturday morning watching the stunning lack of pixelation on their 42″ HD television. i didn’t want to get off the couch for i was afraid i might miss one beautiful linear resolution moment. like i need another reason to be a lazy asshat.