this past weekend i discovered the awesomeness that is HD television. if you had asked me what i thought about HD a week ago i probably would have spouted off some nonsense about how the electronics industry is just trying to drain every single penny out of society and why can’t they just be happy that i’ve bought five mystery science theatre 3000 box sets in the last month. if you asked me today what i thought about HD i would probably tell you that you can see the fur on a camel’s mouth sway in the breeze, and you can tell just how much pancake makeup that news anchor is wearing, oh and don’t forget that watching discovery channel’s planet earth makes you want to run out and adopt a flock of penguins. we sat in my aunt and uncle’s living room saturday morning watching the stunning lack of pixelation on their 42″ HD television. i didn’t want to get off the couch for i was afraid i might miss one beautiful linear resolution moment. like i need another reason to be a lazy asshat.

today i went in for my allergy scratch test. i asked kev to accompany me, if not for morale support, atleast to take some gnarly photos of what i had to endure. the back portion of my test was not nearly as painful and the arm tests. the latter involves a needle put under the dermis and injected with whatever allergy inducing toxin they can think of. for all i know they were shoving mutant alien babies under my skin. which wouldn’t be bad, because think of all those tax write offs.

our first photo is immediately after the initial “scratching”. the nurse is pointing out the histamine control group. she instructed kev that if any of the rows became larger than the control group that there was a definite allergy present. isn’t the paper gown lovely. i immediately stashed it in my purse for later use as a shawl.

approximately two seconds later my back erupted into a collage of welts. i think i heard kev dry heave a bit. i guess i didn’t mention in the vows “for better, or for worse; in gross hives that make you want to vomit, or in health”

because the mold test was a mixed test, they had to test for all molds under the sun. unlike the scratch test, each needle is placed individually under your skin and rather painful. they actually did this test twice, once on each arm. i think they performed the third one just to be mean.

the results of the mold test were positive for two specific molds. which two i have no idea, but i was instructed to not stick the four week old peach in my refrigerator up my nose. well there goes my friday night.

so let’s recount what pretty helmet is allergic to:

• everything
• except dogs

could also be a documentary of my high school. yeah, i’m ghetto.

first i must apologize that i freaked out half the population of birmingham with my last post. i want to assure everyone that the pretty helmet family is not expecting their first child, however we are expecting our first home. that’s right boys and girls! we are buying a house!

woohoo!

it is located in the quaint, yet affluent suburb of forest park where we will be within walking distance of the echoboomer family and my favorite chicas dmoney and mary dangerous d. we close on the house next month and could not be more excited about spending christmas in our first home. thanks to everyone who talked me off the “i can’t stand this house hunting shit!” ledge and assuring me that the right one would come along. this little gem is a 1930’s craftsman bungalow completely renovated to accent the original features of the house.

the new pretty helmet homestead

living room looking into the dining room.

slate fireplace and built in bookshelves. hardwoods are original to the house and completely re-done.

dining room looking into the kitchen from heaven. to the left is a bay-style window.

the kitchen from heaven. stainless steel gas cook-top stove and granite countertops.

bathroom with original wainscoting and stucco wall cover.

i resurrect Friday Five Photo:

why yes, i do take pictures of myself in the bathroom. of course, i would never do it while using the bathroom. you are sick, sick people.

the view from my office. i bet my view could totally kick your view’s ass.

this is what is leftover from lunch. i swear that bowl is not mine. i have taste.

this the crap under my desk that i am constantly kicking. the embassy suites slippers are for when my feet get tired. the yardstick is for poking people.

7-1. don’t get me started about how anal i am about putting my “W” on my track sheet.

about seven years ago my boyfriend of four years and i broke up. he began dating someone shortly thereafter and i became crazy. i wasn’t eating, i wasn’t sleeping, i would sit in my room or lie on the couch and sob. i became listless. at lunch one day my mother threatened that if i didn’t eat soon that she would put me in the hospital and have tubes shoved down my throat. it was at that point that i began to see a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with depression and an attachment disorder. now, the depression was apparent but the attachement disorder was something that i thought only children who were beaten had. mine was the opposite…i was too attached. i began a regiment of 150mg of zoloft (an SSRI) daily and weekly therapy sessions. i began to make great progress.

here i am now, happy and well adjusted. the only wrench is the daily dosing of zoloft. having to depend on pills to feel normal is not normal. when i began taking the zoloft i was under the impression that it would be temporary. no one told me the addictive qualities that one little pill hold. i am chained to a chemical reaction. and don’t think that i haven’t tried to stop taking them. i have. the result is a downward spiral of nausea, dizziness, blinding headaches, and “brain shivers“. the author of crazymeds.com gave the best summation of coming off of SSRI’s:

Mouse and I have kicked opiates and we have kicked SSRIs cold turkey. We’ll take the opiate kick.

of course no one should quit cold turkey. that is stupid not to say dangerous. being of the quasi-intelligent percentage of the world i contacted my doctor and explained to her how much i hated taking zoloft. she suggested beginning a tapering off method that had me skipping my dose every other day for a week and then skipping two doses every two days for the second week and so on.

yesterday was my first full 24 hours without zoloft. the longest i had been without my meds before then was maybe eight hours and that was grueling. i understood that i would experience withdrawals. what i did not expect was the vomiting and fatigue bordering on unconsciousness. needless to say i called the doctor back and said that this was not going to work, that she would need to figure something else out. so, now we are on a full pill one day half pill every other day.

if you see me walking in the middle of I-65 please don’t attempt to capture me. simply call the local white coats to pick my crazy ass up.

now i am one of the cool kids. hooray!

if you need me i’ll be uploading all of my modest mouse cd’s. and laughing maniacally because you don’t have one.
yeah, i’m that petty.

there are some things that i have learned in the years that i have been blogging. at one time i could count on one hand the people that actually read what i wrote. now that has changed. my site traffic pales in comparison of say echoboomer’s site or sarah’s site but i do have some readers. here is a laundry list of things that have become quite apparent:

• being wrong: in no way should anything i post on here be taken as the gospel truth. i am wrong. a lot. form your own opinions. and if you disagree with what i say then tell me. while i hate to actually be proven wrong i will own up to it.
• yours, anonomously: with that being said, if you do in fact disagree with me and want to tell me how wrong i am then a. don’t post anonomously and b. don’t go around posting your disagreements with me on other people’s websites. your beef is with me, not them. posting anonomously is a chickenshit way of getting your point across. and more than likely i will disregard your opinion as fodder. on the flipside of the coin, if what i say just grates on your nerves then don’t visit this site anymore. trust me, i’m not losing any sleep over it.
• havenesque: unlike many of my blogger counterparts this is a website about me and my life. the content that i post is mostly things that i have experienced or felt. much akin to a journal or diary just because i post it on here does not make it your personal ammunition.

i am truly grateful for every person i have encountered while blogging. i have learned a lot from all of you. most of you have made me a better person and blogger. i will continue to grow and learn and only hope that you all will be around to witness it.

the earth’s crust has yet to break open and spit forth the antichrist but we’ve still got time on our hands. in holy celebration of 06/06/06, i bring you my favorite band on the planet:

featuring the super lucious kim deal and the wonderfully man-breasted charles thompson who screamed his way into my heart in 1990.

so there. i’ll be sitting at home tonight drinking a beer and waiting for the sky to fall.

i had quite a witty post from friday all laid out here and because i was so anxious to rid several of my entries of foul spammers i accidentally deleted my post. fudge nuggets! i won’t attempt to recreate said post because face it, did da vinci try to recreate the mona lisa? ferlinghetti, Coney Island Of The Mind? lucas the Star Wars trilogy?
forget the last one.
a few things that will be totally awesome when it happens:

• where art thou innernets? - this coming friday i will be patiently waiting for the Hellsouth guy to install my DSL. since we moved into the new house we have been without my precious innernet which has resulted in my staring longingly at the phone jack as if to say “why can’t you make a cable modem appear or something? gawd!”
• arts & crafts - living in birmingham has taught me a lot. like how to make a fishing lure out of a PBR can and how to effectively wear my daisy dukes and #8 Dale Earnhardt, Jr. hat so that i can convey the proper amount of white trashiness. the most important lesson of all though is that birmingham, as sleepy as it is, breeds the most wonderful and insightful artisans i have ever encountered. for example: wes frazer, who i met at summer camp when we were 14 or 15, is having an exhibit at rojo thursday night.
  
• if he can’t have you, i guess that no one else will - growing up is painful. being mature and making decisions that will ultimately change you and others puts you in the throws of agony. welcome to nutsville. population: me