dear owner of safari cup,

congratulations, you’ve officially snagged the tile of utter douchebag. when i called this morning to politely inquire as to why flyers with YOUR COMPANY’S NAME were left on my tenant’s vehicles in a private parking deck you proceeded to yell at me for no reason whatsoever. first of all, asshat, you’re not winning any popularity contests or customers by yelling at someone who oversees a building in downtown with over 1500 potential customers. secondly, i was simply asking who i would speak to about said offense when you began screaming “don’t accuse me!”. last time i checked, inquiring is not accusing.

also, i’m not sure if you are aware but you are a small business owner in a part of the city where small businesses are lucky to stay open for longer than a year. alienating anyone regardless of who they are or what type of clientelle they can bring you is truly unwise. in fact, the last time i actually patronized your establishment during peak hours there was maybe three people in the facility and two of them were employees. so go ahead and have your haughty movie nights and overpriced store bought coffee, you’re presence is not doing anyone any favors. though i am a consumate advocate of the “little guy” i absolutely refuse to visit your place of business again. i would rather eat $12 nails at starbucks than ensure you made one red cent off of me.

again, congratulations on becoming a boil on the butt of this city. i think zimbabwe is missing their village idiot.

sincerely,
pretty helmet

first of all, let me state that my new niece’s name is kendall ellison, not kendall emerson. when you have a ton of fluid in your ears and are high on crazy cough syrup you tend to hear things that are not quite so.

i called my brother-in-law today to check in on kelly and kendall and found out that kendall had a bit of trouble last night. she had a pneumothorax which caused one of her lungs to collapse. while this is extremely common in premature babies it is very serious. a needle had to be inserted into her lung to re-inflate her lung and is now on on a breathing tube. on the upside kendall has gained 3 ounces bringing her to a nice 3 pounds. the doctors will keep kendall in the nicu until her original due date which could be another month.

thanks to all who have given your thoughts and love towards kevin’s sister and her family. they are truly exceptional parents and deserve nothing but wonderful things with this little girl.

i’m thinking of renaming this site Pretty Illness, because let’s face it people, i’m sick a lot. and it is not that i want to be, or that i am a hypochondriac, just that i am more susceptible to obtaining every malady within a four mile radius. right now in the “flu season” every single one of my friends and family has been hit hard with something and frankly i thought i had escaped it. see what i get for thinking?!

it all started on sunday with a sore throat. i thought that it was from the smoky atmosphere at speakeasy friday night, but when i woke up on monday morning with chills and phlegmy cough i knew i was in for a bad haul. around lunchtime on monday i was sweating profusely and was overcome with aching muscles. my sweet boss let me go home for the rest of the day to rest up. monday night was much worse. i had fitful sleep, and could not get comfortable no matter what position my body rolled in to. my core body temperature fluctuated between ten hells and two dammits to jesus h. christ please find me more blankets, it is a frozen tundra in here! the base of my neck and shoulders were so tense i felt knots in my skin. somewhere around 3:30 a.m. i managed to get into a hot bath to relieve the pain.

i went to the doc-in-a-box today for the fear that this was the flu. if it was i needed to inform my co-workers to get some preventative care. though the waiting room was packed and the receptionist had the compassion of a gilla monster i was in and out in 2 hours. the doctor and the nurses were especially kind even though they were all very tired. they were running on a skeleton crew as most of their staff were also out sick.

after putting a long stick up my nose and taking blood work the results came back to reveal mycoplasmosis a.k.a. walking pneumonia. i was sent home with antibiotics, some heavy duty cough syrup, and big ole steroid shot in my booty. i’m running on fumes right now, but actually feel a little better (even though the chills have not subsided). kev is taking good care of me and has intrusted my day care to cooper (sans nurse hat).

side note: my sister-in-law, kelly, delivered my new niece kendall ellison on monday via cesarean. i was not able to see either one of them due to my illness but kev told me that though she is 10 weeks early and only 2 pounds 14 ounces she is doing quite well. kelly will be in the hospital for a few more days and kendall will be in for several more weeks. this little girl has been long awaited and is quite a blessing. i can’t wait to see her.

alright you guys, i’ve actually done something with the one (yes, the only one) photo that i think is worth a crap. i’ve submitted it to jpg magazine for their 15th issue. if you love me at all (or don’t but think the photo is pretty) please please please click on the link below and vote for me.

i’m making some changes around here and you’re going to like it! prettyhelmet has become a child whose diaper needed to be changed 2 years ago. so you’ll see some graphic and style differences around here, but it’s still me.

UPDATE!
many thanks to rush over at the outernet for his help in php coding. i’m a picky bitch and you would not have noticed the things i had fixed anyway, but they were driving me crazy. and let’s be honest…i don’t need anymore reasons to be a nut.

i am trying to decide if uploading my photos to my ftp site load faster than those that are redirected from my flickr account. what do you guys think?

oh, and by the way. this is sven, our foot tall snowman from the recent BLIZZARDHOLYSHITEVERYONERUNFORTHEIRLIVES!

so yeah, it snowed. and the way the news stations were making it out we would all expect to die an icy death. 3/4″ of an inch does not a “blizzard” make. it does make some pretty photos though:

greyhound footprints down the back steps of our house

two tiny icicles

and for some obligatory animal photos:

jack loves to clean brock’s ears

sadly, brock doesn’t love the grooming.

i can’t blame jack though. sometimes i just want to shove brock’s entire head in my mouth.

give me a cd mix for christmas with some truly fantastic music that i haven’t stopped listening to since i opened the case. here is the breakdown of my favorites:

• like U crazy - mates of state. the husband wife duo have more chemistry than ginger and fred and their lyrics are like a wonderful dance through a smoke-filled bar. with piano and drums being their primary instruments it’s easy to get lost in the melodies. it’s simple and altruistic. and one day someone will tell me “i like you crazy” and i’ll melt into their arms. right after i pop a zoloft.
• ragoo - kings of leon. many people don’t know this but i will tell you innernets, because you’re my best friend: i hated kings of leon when i first heard their song “molly’s chambers”. it sounded like steven tyler spent too much time in hunting camp in georgia. in fact, when i went to see one of my favorite bands from nashville, the features, kings of leon were playing with them and made a point to high-tail it out of the bar. but “ragoo” is superb. it hits me in the heart with their line “here’s to the kids out there smoking in the streets/they’re way too young but I’m way too old to preach”. an anthem to knowing it all and not knowing enough.
• carnavas - silversun pickups. word to the wise, don’t read user reviews on itunes. the majority of the comments included comparison to the smashing pumpkins in their gish year. i don’t see it. what i do hear is a song that you want to drive to. drive all the way portland, oregon and start a dive bar. and then it opens up. the song, not the dive bar. the song doesn’t even crescendo, it just explodes. right into your ears and the next thing you know you’re smiling and you’re crossing the idaho/oregon state line.

those are my favorites. there are others that i have listened to incessantly, but not as much as these. i couldn’t have received this cd at a better time too. you could go and download these songs if you were so inclined but i would suggest in going the route i did: have darcia la rosa as your friend.

love you d. you’ve made 2008 a great start.

i don’t know how to write this. i’ve tried every way i know how and i end up deleting the whole post except for the words “fuck”, “hell”, and “exhausted”. sadly those are the only words to describe what is going on. instead of writing something altruistic, i’m going to indulge my depression, because damn it! this is my site.

the week before christmas i was in the 5th week of pregnancy; something that overjoyed me, scared me, and made me want to vomit at the thought of cheese. what?! i know! during the week i began spotting: first rice-grain size pink streaks and then brown quarter sized spots. i was assured by my OB that this was completely normal, but was asked to come in just to check everything out. i had an ultrasound and we saw the gestational sack but no baby. again, completely normal because you cannot see the heartbeat until 7 weeks or so. sigh. they did a bunch of blood work to check my levels and promised to call the next day to report. pins and needles, people!

on friday the nurse practitioner called and relayed the results. my levels were severely low and i would probably miscarry over the weekend. try to relax and have a good christmas. uh, okaaay. i was a mess. not only did i have this impending doom of losing the baby that kev and i had lovingly made we got to do it during christmas. i couldn’t imagine a worse time. i immediately went home to bawl and wallow.

christmas eve came and i began to miscarry. and it was awful. words can’t describe how terrible it was. physically, emotionally, spiritually. i wanted to jump off the roof or throw myself into on coming traffic. anything but go through this. kev was wonderful. he is the epitome of the doting husband.

here it is new year’s eve and i’m a little better. i still tear up when i talk about it, but overall i’m optimistic and hopeful. our families has been tremendous and supportive. they wanted this baby as much as we did.

while sitting at a red light, you pull up next to me and your music is so loud it shakes my windows. when i look over to give you a nasty “you’re an asshole” sneer i notice there are two small children in your backseat. it is one thing to listen to that mess of words and bass you call “music” so loud that you go deaf, but it is quite another to subject your own children to it. i would love to hear that conversation at your pediatrician’s office:

doctor: “i’m curious as to why your son has 60% hearing loss in both ears”

parent: “well, it could be that i insist on matching the decibel level in my vehicle to that of an grenade blowing up in your face”

doctor: (looking around the office) “hm, now where did i put that “parent of the year” award?”

no one wants to listen to your shitty music. if i did, i’d download it off of itunes. and kev thinks i am kidding, but the next time someone drives through my neighborhood with their music turned up so loud i can hear it at the back of the house i swear to the baby jesus i will throw a very fat cat at their car. his claws are sharp, man.